Chapter 5 “Lost”

Sunday morning I woke up smiling. I couldn’t believe I was with the guys again, they made me so happy. My cell phone started ringing and I looked at it reading Tom’s name on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Happy Birthday!!! Can you come today?” Please say yes, please say yes.

“No sorry I did everything could… But thank you baby.”

“Yeah… But after work will you call?”

“By the time I get home you’re probably sleeping. Come on just one more week. I promise.”

“Ok. I miss you. I love you.”

“Yeah. I gotta go now, bye.”

I went downstairs to breakfast with Tanya.

“Ok. Sit the fuck down and start speaking.”

“There’s nothing to tell. I was there, had a fun time with them, came back. That’s it.”

“And what were you and Brian talking about at the door last night.”

“We were saying goodnight. And he left.”

“And he kissed your forehead very romantically.”

“No. He kissed my forehead very friendly.”

“Keep telling that to yourself…” she was so annoying.

“How’s Michelle?” God, no. I couldn’t tell her they weren’t together anymore.

“She’s good.”

“Good? What did she say to you?”

“She wasn’t there.”

“Where was she?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t ask Brian?”

I didn’t answer this time. This girl could read my face like anybody could.

“Oh.My.God! Brian divorced didn’t he?” I kept eating my cereal. “Jesus Christ! He did! Aaaaaahahahah! You know what you’re gonna do now?

“What?”

“You’re gonna break up with that fagg lawyer that you call you’re boyfriend and you’re gonna call Brian and say that you love him and want to make babies with him. NOW!!!! ”

“Shut up!” I stormed into my room without finishing my breakfast. I got dressed and saw I had a text message.

“Hello beautiful! What you dream about ;)?”

It was Brian. I only wish my boyfriend texted me like this.

“Good morning. Actually, I think I was too tired to dream. But I had a blast yesterday.”

“Glad to know I entertained you Freckles. I mean me and the rest of the guys of course ;)”

“Of course ;) Today I’m kind of busy so maybe tomorrow we can hang out?”

“Aaawwww, miss me already? Sure, we can meet tomorrow freckles! Just tell me when.”

“After work. You guys wanna go somewhere specifically?”

“We’ll figure that out later ;)”

We finished that conversation and I went downstairs.

“Hey, Claire, today I’m gonna spend the day with Peter and I’ll only be back tomorrow, do you mind?”

“No. Of course not. I have plans already…”

“You mean Brian?”

“No. I mean Tom. My boyfriend, remember? He’s not able to come here today so I decided I’m going to surprise him by going there.”

She looked at me with a soft smile.

“Girl… You have no idea what you’re missing…”

I decided to stay home for lunch and then head out to West Chester. He was working so I had to do something until he got home. I went to the shopping, bought new clothes, and ate something on the way. Before I knew it was already late. I went to his apartment and knocked on the door.

“Crystal. Come in love.”

Crystal? Who the fuck was Crystal?

I opened the door to find a room decorated with red rose petals all over the floor, music playing on the background when suddenly Tom came from the bathroom wearing a bathrobe with a bottle of champagne in one hand and two cups on the other.

“Baby… This is not what it looks like…” I couldn’t think straight I started shaking.

“Who the fuck is Crystal?”

“I’m Crystal. Who the fuck are you?”

I turned around to see a tall blonde girl at the door dressing like a slut. I was crying a river already and shaking more and more.

“Don’t you talk to me ever again!” I ran as fast as I could and drove back home. I never stopped crying and when I got home I remembered I was all alone and I cried more and more. I couldn’t call Tanya, I didn’t want to ruin her night. He was the only one who I could call.

“Bri…?”

“Freckles? Wait, what’s wrong? Are you crying?”

“I don’t want to bother you, but you think y-you can come over he-here?”

“Are you ok? God! I’ll be there in a minute. Hang in there Claire.”

After some minutes of uncontrollable crying the bell rang and I opened the door jumping to Brian’s arms.

“Shhh… It’s ok. I’m here… Shhh.”

He came inside and we sat on the couch. When he was about speak I cut him and hugged him tight.

“Oh, ok. We don’t have to say anything. Take your time…”

When I stopped crying held my hands to his chest and said

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?”

“He cheated on me. I was going to surprise him, only to find out he’s been cheating on me all along…”

I started crying again and he hugged me caressing my head. After a while I looked at him.

“Thank you Bri.”

“It’s nothing. Where’s Tanya?”

“She’s at Peter’s.”

“Oh, hey, wanna watch a movie?”

“That would be nice, but not a romantic movie…”

“Don’t you think I know you freckles? We’re gonna see this. It’s still your favorite?”  he asked showing me the dvd of Nightmare on Elm Street.

“Yes.”

I don’t know what happened but after sometime I forgot about the movie and started thinking that it really felt good being like that with Brian again. We were snuggling into each other on the couch and his hand was running through my hair. I was so comfortable. Those tattooed arms around me made me feel safe. And those arms were the last thing I saw because we fell asleep like that.

Chapter 3_ Forgotten Faces

“Why are you doing this to me? It’s not like I’m trying to impress anybody.”

At this moment I was trying on clothes to wear this evening. I had a bunch of dresses waiting for me to try them while Andrea and Tanya were outside.

“Well, you have to cause a good impression. It’s not about impressing them it’s about your appearance. Oh, and there’s also Brian.” Tanya stated and they both laughed.

“Well, but for that I got a lot of clothes back home. And it’s time for you to stop the whole Brian deal. I got a boyfriend for fuck sake!” I said while opening the curtain showing them the dress I was wearing. They were staring at me smirking.

“Honey, I am sorry to announce that when Brian sees you on that dress his going to divorce Michelle immediately.” Andrea said.

“And probably he will drool a little.” Tanya had to join.

“You know what? I am getting out of here.” I changed my clothes. And looked at them.

“Claire, we’re just kidding.”

“Yeah, sorry.” They were serious now.

“I bet you are. I have a boyfriend. Bri is married. I am getting pissed with this conversation and I can’t take it anymore. Me and Brian are over. Don’t you get that! I’m just gonna hang out with them and probably, sooner or later they’ll go on tour and forget about me, and everything will be back to normal!” They were looking at me with a look of regret on their faces. I was getting out of the store, but I came back and said looking to Tanya. “And you are going to pay for this dress and give me when we get home!” It really was a nice dress. Purple, Brian’s favorite color… God what the fuck am I thinking!

The whole ride home was very silent and when we got there I ran up the stairs to my room. I sat on the bed, looked at the clock. 4pm. I needed to text Brian because I really didn’t know where Matt’s house was at. Suddenly I felt nervous.

“Hi! I just realized that I don’t know where M.’s house is… L Can you give me directions please? thanks”  After some seconds I got an answer. He was fast.

“Hi there Freckles ;) Why don’t you give me directions to your house so I could pick you up. I don’t accept no as an answer! <3”

Oh God! I gave him the directions, I mean, what could go wrong? Nothing, right? I was nervous but that was all.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah Tanya, come in.”

“I got your dress. I’m so sorry. We didn’t mean to get you mad.”

“Ok. Apologies accepted. Now go downstairs ‘cause I gotta get ready.”

“Well, someone’s anxious! You want me to take you there?”

“No need to.” She’s going to freak out again.

“Why?”

“Brian’s coming here to pick me up, don’t you say a damn thing about it.”

“Aaaaahahhahahahhahah!!!” Why was she like this?! My face must have been real red of anger because she said

“Calm down! I can be happy to see him again, can I?!” 

Yeah, sure. She got out of my room and I took a quick shower, got in the dress, curled my hair a little bit and put some make up, not to much. Right when I was going down the stairs the bell rang and I froze.

“What are you doing there, it’s not for me! Open the door.”

I nervously made my way to the door and slowly opened it.

He was smiling at me. The smile that some years ago made my heart melt. His brown eyes were shining when he eyed me up. I blush very easily so I must’ve looked like a tomato.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Easy cowboy! You don’t remember me anymore?” Tanya and the guys were together a few times but when we were all together she would bring a lot of fun to the group.

“Tanya? You look so different!” They hugged and Tanya said

“You too. But I’m sure we can catch up some other time, I have to go dinner with Peter anyway… You go and have fun ok?” she basically pushed me out of the front door. Me and Brian looked awkwardly at each other but he soon broke the silence

“Sorry if I came to early, I just thought maybe we could go somewhere first.”

“Oh! Yes, of course. What are your plans?”

“You’ll see.”

We got to the car and he opened the door for me. God! His cuteness was killing me. He parked the car and I knew where we were. I started chuckling.

“Oh, don’t laugh. This was once your hiding place.” He was so right. Whenever I felt lost, sad or scared I went to that beach, specifically to one spot on that beach. If I was right, he was taking me there.

I was right. We sat on the sand between those rocks where we had a perfect view of the sunset and the entire beach. He looked at me.

“Tell me stuff.”

“Where should I start.” I laughed. “I moved with Tanya, but that you already know. To West Chester, by the way. Found a job there.”

“Why did you move here again? Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that you’re here, but, may I ask why?”

“Yeah, sure. My cousin’s boyfriend had a really good job offer here and he couldn’t say no. And they really love each other, so we had to come along. Actually they’re engaged now!”

“Wow! That’s awesome. And you? Married? Widow?”

“Shut up, Gates!” I playfully punched his arm and he chuckled. “Actually I have a boyfriend. Tom.” His smile faded.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes. I am.”

“Did he move here with you?”

“No. He’s a lawyer and he works back at West Chester. He’s been very busy so I only see him on the weekends.”

“Oh! I see. I thought you didn’t like distance relationships…”

“Brian…”

“Why didn’t you keep in touch? We tried to contact you but we had no clue where you were at. You broke my heart and then you left all of us. Why?”

A tear was forming on my eye.

“Well, believe it or not I lost everything! I lost a lot of things while I was moving including your contacts. I know it sounds dumb but it’s the truth. But either way, if I kept in touch it wouldn’t matter…”

“Calm down, I believe you. I know you don’t lie. But why are you saying it wouldn’t matter if you kept in touch?”

“You know, after I moved I still followed your band, and I tried to reach you but seeing you getting bigger and bigger every day, with all of this girls trying to get to you, I…” I started crying and Brian hugged me. I held onto his arms. “I’m sorry… I really am.”

“Shhh… It’s ok. You’re here now. That’s all that matters. But you should never think we would replace you. We didn’t. We still talk about you to this day. We never forgot you.” He was being genuine. I knew that. I felt so stupid. He wiped the tears out of my face and I smiled at him. “You better, freckles?” I nodded.

“I still can’t believe you remember that nickname.”

“Of course I do. You hated it, but really… I think you loved it.” We both laughed.

“Oh and by the way, I’m happy to know you still like our band.”

“Of course I do, silly! You guys are super talented. Tanya still loves you too.”

We started walking to the car again. And I said

“Are Val and Michelle going to be there?” Did I say something wrong. I think I did because his face froze. “Bri?”

“Well, Val is going to be very happy to see you!”

“What about Michelle? You guys had a fight?”

“Wait…you kno-”

“Like I said, I’m a fan, and fans know stuff. But really I never thought you ended up together.”

“Apparently we didn’t” I stared blankly at him.

“Remember that text I sent you, saying you were the best thing that happened to me this week? That was ‘cause this week sucked. I officially got divorced.”

“Oh, Jesus! Are you ok?”

“Yeah, now I am. It was like our marriage was kind of a forced thing after a while, you know. But divorce it’s never a good thing. But I’m fine.”

“Ok. Now would you start the car already! I’m getting nervous!”

“Daaaamn Freckles, we’re going!!!” We laughed and went to Matt’s house. Brian knocked the door and after some moments I heard someone scream!

“Claire!”

Chapter II _ The Almighty Synyster Gates

Warmness on my Soul

Chapter I _ “Hello Brown Eyes”

            “God! She’s going to kill me!” I shouted while I searched through my purse trying to find my phone. I was going to dinner with my cousin and her boyfriend and apparently they had very important news to tell me. But, of course, I was late already. “Calm the fuck down! She’ll understand.” Andrea was trying to comfort me but obviously it wasn’t working. “I quit! I have to go NOW!” I finally said. I was already walking to the door when she pulled my arm. “Take this to drink at least; I don’t want you to get dehydrated until the end of the day!” Like a mother, always taking care of me… “Ok, love you.” I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and started running like crazy. I started running down the street to get o my car when from nowhere someone was in front of me and my hands and my face were now on that someone’s chest. Unfortunately so did my coffee. “Oh God! I, … Jesus! I’m so fucking clumsy! Sorry, sorry…”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s ok”

            The minute I heard that voice I knew exactly whose it was. I could never forget that velvet voice of his. Finally I looked up at him.

“Freckles? Is it you? Oh God! Claire I missed you so fucking much!!!”

Freckles? Really? He still remembers that. He was now hugging me tight, so tight, I mean, really tight. “Brian!” I managed to say “I…can´t…breathe” He dropped me and put his hand on his head. “Ah, sorry. What are you doing here in Huntington Beach?”

“Well, I guess I moved here. Again.”

Me and my father always lived in Huntington Beach but when he died from cancer, the only family I got was my cousin, Tanya. I loved her so much already, so when I moved to her house in West Chester we became so much closer. But moving to her house also meant that I had to leave my best friends in the world and my boyfriend. I was so happy for them when they started to get recognized for their music! They were very talented then already, so the success started growing and growing. Avenged Sevenfold. We all met in school and became best friends right away. Also, Val, Michelle and I were the most hated girls on that school for hanging out with the guys all the time. Especially me, because after a couple of months of knowing them, me and Brian started dating. Yeah, I just ran into my high school sweetheart. To this day, I still don’t know what the fuck happened, but while I was moving, I lost my phone, and lost all of the possibilities to establish contact with them. And when I saw the were getting more famous each day, I guess I stopped trying to contact them. I was just a simple, orphan, kid, and I would just be a distraction on their career. Losing the guys was pretty rough, but loosing Brian was the worse. I had just lost my father, then losing my boyfriend killed me. But after some time I was fine with it. With the success they were getting he would have a lot of fish in the sea to choose. I always followed their career though. After all I was a big fan.

“Wait, you mean, you’re here for good? You’re here to stay?” his eyes were shinning and there was a hint of hope in his voice.

“Yeah, I guess. I hope so.”

“Me too.” He was serious now, looking at me with those beautiful brown eyes. They brought me up so many good memories. I was blushing now, for sure.

“We should go out! I mean, we and the guys of course. Now that you’re here we got a lot caching up to do, right?”

“Yeah, sure. Let me give you my number then.” By this time I had completely forgotten about the dinner, about my cousin and about how piss she’ll be, I forgot everything. This was too good to be true. He handed me his phone and I couldn’t help but smirk at the wallpaper.

“Who’s he?”

“She, is the best dog in the world. Pinkly. She would love to meet you.”

I laughed and gave him his phone back. Now it hit me.

“Oh God!”

“What?”

“Jesus! Brian I’m so sorry, but I’m very, very late. I have to go now!”

“Need a ride?” Always so nice to people. Still the same.

“No. Thanks, I got my car. Text me tonight ok? Bye!” I immediately started running and I could hear him laughing behind me. I looked again before entering the car only to find a smiling Brian waving at me. I waved back. On the ride to the restaurant I couldn’t help but smile. That smile faded right when I remembered I have and angry Tanya waiting for me. I’m sure hell will rise, but really I couldn’t care less, because some place on this week I’m sure I’ll have lots of fun…

Brian Elwin Haner Jr.

Este homem é a razão pela qual eu deixei de ter medo. Medo de viver. Aprendi a gostar de mim como sou e a não ligar ao que os outros pensam, porque eu estou acima disso.
Não só por ser L I N D O ;) tem uma personalidade incrível e é uma grande pessoa.

Para além disso tudo tem um talento enorme e quando toca guitarra é como se o mundo à volta dele parasse, porque ele ama o que faz e fá-lo belíssimamente.

Para quem está curioso, Synyster Gates (nome de palco), é o guitarrista da banda Avenged Sevenfold e ele é o responsável pelos solos de guitarra fantásticos em todas as músicas.

Cada vez admiro mais esta banda, pelo seu talento, pela sua atenção para com os fãs. Mas principalmente por isto.
Em Dezembro de 2009 o baterista dos avenged foi encontrado sem vida no seu apartamento. Jimmy Sullivan, mais conhecido por "The Rev" morreu aos 28 anos.

Jimmy- gone, but never forgotten

O Jimmy era fantástico e nunca niguém o vai substituir. Era também o melhor amigo do Brian.

Não consigo acreditar como é que a banda conseguiu arranjar forças e coragem para continuarem sem ele, mas continuam. Lançaram o cd "Nightmare" em memória do melhor amigo deles, como uma última homenagem.

 

his tattoo <3   foREVer em honra ao Jimmy <3

Isto faz-me admirar esta banda ainda mais. Eles passaram por um inferno e voltaram, por os fãs. Por nós. <3

afterlife <3



That's why I'll always love them <3

nada melhor so que uma tarde chata de Domingo para.... pintar as unhas!